True sacred relationship begins with yourself because all relationships are reflections of you. Yes, it may be true that your partner does things that annoy you. But even though they may be behaving in a particular way, you are the one who feels triggered. Therefore it is always yourself that you are in a relationship with first and foremost.
You are always being reminded of yourself in one way or another in any relationship but especially in the really close ones. This also means that you get to see the most beautiful parts of who you are as well as the ones that could be even happier.
There are seven essential mirrors for building sacred relationships based on the teachings of the Essenes and shared here by James Gilliand. Since we live in a world that is based on attraction everything we do think or say will either attract what we want or repel it. This is based on the energy that we are radiating out into the universe all of the time. So we know that taking full personal responsibility for everything we have ever done, said, or thought in this life or another is the first fundamental quality of creating a sacred relationship. And seeing everything as a mirror which is only reflecting parts of ourselves is the next fundamental idea.
The Seven Mirrors of Sacred Relationship
The First Mirror reflects to us that which we are. It is something we ourselves have been doing or where we ourselves have been in error or wounded.
The Second Mirrorreflects back to us that which we judge. It is something we have been wounded by and have an emotional charge on. It can be something we have done in the past that we have not forgiven. It is good to discern however that when we condemn another with an emotional charge we are most likely judging ourselves.
The Third Mirror reflects back to us something we have Lost, Given Away or had Taken Away. When we see something we love in another it is often something we have lost, given away or that has been stolen. in our own lives. Every relationship is a relationship with self and often we try to reclaim what we lost, gave away or had taken away as a child. All of which can be reclaimed within self.
The Fourth Mirror reflects back to us our most forgotten love. This could be a way of life, or a lost or unfinished relationship. Often it is a past life where a wrong conclusion from a past experience was created. These will recreate themselves over and over and over again until the conclusion is registered in the soul as wisdom.
The Fifth Mirror reflects back Father/Mother. It is often said that we marry our father or mother. We also often become them acting out both healthy and unhealthy patterns we learned as a child. Our father and mother are often like Gods to us and so we will often reflect aspects of our relationship with them onto our partners. We often choose our partners based on our relationship with our parents.
The Sixth Mirror reflects back to us the Quest for Darkness or what is often referred to as a dark night of the soul. This is when we meet our greatest challenges, our greatest fears, and have been gathering the tools from life to confront and deal with them. The most important thing to remember is that our soul is giving us these opportunities to grow and evolve and that we are not victims.
The Seventh Mirror reflects back to us our self perception. Others will perceive and treat us according to how we treat and perceive ourselves. If we have low self-esteem and do not see ourselves as worthy of love, or do not see our own beauty, others will reflect that back and they will not value us or see our beauty either. If we are bitter and unloving to others, they in kind may be that way with us. It is important here to learn how to be compassionate and loving with yourself and to embrace all that you are without judging yourself. Remember the only reason anyone has power over you is if they have something you want. Maybe that something, whether it be love, joy, or a personal connection to a Higher Power, can all be found within yourself.
These seven mirrors are just guidelines you can choose to use as ways to check in on where you are in your own self growth and awareness. Creating a sacred relationship requires that you first clean up your own messes, heal the wounded parts of yourself that get in the way of what you say you want and reclaim your power back from wherever you gave it away willingly or unwillingly.
When you take the time to work on your relationship with yourself first you will begin to notice the changes that are now being reflected back to you as you go about your life. You will begin to notice the difference in your relationship with your beloved. All relationships are sacred if we choose to hold it them that way but remember the one with yourself is the most important one you have.